Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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