good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
