I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
that may or may not have been my penis.
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