Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
