Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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