You smell like a Billy Joel song
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
