it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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