you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
