Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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