Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
