with your own penis?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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