you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
