i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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