Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
