Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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