Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
