i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
