are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize