She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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