So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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