The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
