Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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