i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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