You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
