Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
