Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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