garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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