it was like eating out sand paper
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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