There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
