what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
