accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
