im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish i was in the wii world.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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