I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
