Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
