She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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