U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
