He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
