he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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