There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
