Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
