I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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