he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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