so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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