Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
