your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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