the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
