This is not my ceiling
Me too!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
