Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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