Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
