Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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