Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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