a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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