i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize