Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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