Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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