So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
