there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
