I just saw a hot homeless man
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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